BWAHAHAHAH!

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If Japan made an animaton based on a Transgender superhero, would it be called a TRANNIMATION?

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WELCOME TO K.I.L.L.RRRRRRRRRADIO! COMIN AT’CHA LIVE FROM THE TOILET!

I feel just like Michael Scott when he finally sees Toby (the Eor of comedic comedicness) is back! Scott’s reaction would be what I did to either candidates victory results.

The motherfuckin underdog comes in like Ric Flair at Wrestlemania EPIC ENTRANCE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS…WOO!(cue the ‘Faith No More’ music).

Get it? Faith no more, Epic, the song, that song the one with the boxing gloves random rain YEAAAAH!lol Continue reading

Don’t Vote Early! Wait For The FBI To Finish Their Investigation!

You know what? Just because I had to watch three videos on YouTube with uninterrupted commercials by Barack Obama telling me to not vote Trump and to Vote Hillary, I’m voting Trump. Fuck you Obama! I told people they would all hate him by the end of his first term throughout his second and all my Facebook friends who backed him up are now part of the DISAPPROVAL statistics. UP YOURS! I was right and you were wrong!

He doesn’t even care about the natives fighting for clean water! He could have stopped it dead, in the water and respected the treaties but he didn’t  Neither does Hillary. As predicted they said natives are slowing down progress, when it is in fact counteractive. We need to be more clean and green like a mean machine that runs on electricity and these fucks want to destroy the environment!

If Hillary wins we will all be dead and the population will be depopulated about 90% so that we can be easily controlled and monitored and also put into FEMA prison camps and MEGACITIES.

FUCK THAT! I don’t want to live in a Judge Dredd movie type life! I’m no prisoner! I’m a free man! And the the land is my home!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! OR HELL-O-WEEN IF HELLARY WINS!

[Image by NBC, meme’d by ME!]

Real Zombies

The zombie apocalypse will come, bet your ass! It will not be by fallout or chemical warfare, disease, no, it will be pure hunger.

Good people will die at a high rate, many will lose their minds, hearing voices or hallucinating nonsense eventually getting them killed.

Gangs will probably last the longest but eventually turn on each other and on themselves.

I mean just look at that dude Jeff at work, that motherfucker who just can’t wait to go on a shooting spree during a 2-month blackout or some other disaster as an excuse to try out all the guns he plans on stealing.

A lot of us know other people who will be out to protect and those who prepared. But you must stay away from those prep-workers who make it everyone’s business what their plans are, they will be the first to get robbed as soon as the shit hits the fan and you know it. If you’re gonna prep, do it like a theif. No one should fucking know! Whats the point of having a hiding space EVERYONE knows about?

One of the next things that happens is people start killing and eating house-pets, climbing the walls acting like wild apes, nothing much going on upstairs other than the primal instincts to feed survive and sleep. Next thing you know you’re waking up to your friend Steve nibbling off your damn foot like a camel spider!

These rabid berzerker future man will eventually run out of people to eat and then go extinct being the last to meet the maker.

We’ll eat and kill each other out of existence, our machines will eventually be torn apart by plant life, structures will collapse into their own shadows excluding the temples and pyramids. How many lifetimes have we come and gone while those structures remain as ultra slow disintegrating witnesses?

How many times have they been ‘discovered’ and tampered with?

When will we learn to grow crops again and drag ourselves out of this matrix of plastic artificial surrounding?

Trying to become a society that rejects its instincts and its connection to the planet and wither out of existence.

Get off your phone and go roll in some grass, take your shoes and socks off and walk in some mud or cool dirt, take camping vacations and learn to live off the land you pussies!

Happy Halloween. 🙂

Men are the laziest creatures on earth.

In our society women have a multitude of appliances and…toys. What? You know when your girl cant have YOU due to work or whatever she takes care of herself her damn self! Anyways, we make these things to make their lives easier right guys? Cause its our Job…and stuff…
Yeah, we’re so smart we figured out how to eliminate our presence in the kitchen almost completely, rubber mats to open jars with, electric can openers. All this to get away from our wives and or girlfriends for some damn peace and quiet!
Making humans lazier wasn’t the original point but the ‘man’ likes it!
We are builders and inventors, we see patterns and ways to simplify tasks as we have for an eternity now.
Men say women belong in the kitchen, but so did we not too long ago, we had shit to do too! cutting this and whisking that but we fuuuucking hate it! We despise all that you ask us to do, Im not doing anymore of this, stirring BULLSHIT! DAMN! We always get volunteered to watch something cone to a  boil or watching the mixer so we can know when to shut it off and all that shiiiiiiz… We had to wash dishes after dinner for too long! We said “FUCK THAT! I’LL BE IN THE BASEMENT INVENTING THE DISHWASHER WOMAN! YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!”
And ya’ll thought it was a nice guesture? Suckers, just made that so YOU could do it yourself, sure we might load it for you, but our labor has been reduced! forever! HAH! Cause we are assholes, natural born dickheads!
Oh, you got some choppin for me to do? NOPE! gotcha this super slicer dicer automat-o-thingamafucker you can do that shit yourself with babe!
We need to be left alone when we watch the game or play cards with the crew, now you have graders choppers and blenders to keep us from having to help you do shite! yes, shite. ☺
So we invented our way out of the kitchen for the most part, how do you like them apples biznitches? Ok I dont call women that, they are our damn queens and we love you to death but we just hate spending time with you. 😊
We were once like all other creatures, surviving, having to adapt to our dangerous and menacing environment, not helping the wenches in any way possible until evolution put us in the hot kitchen!
But now we just invent our way around it all or get it out the damn way so that we can shit comfortably and not have to hear your nagging mumbojumbo! Shit was that out loud? NO IT WAS’T BECAUSE YOU CANT HEAR SHIT! BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

We will fuck things up just to get booted out even if its temporary because we dont make enough bank to buy our women all the appliances we wish we could.c803ffeb-033d-4449-a1ac-0f0421afc35f

I Just Can’t Help Myself When It Comes To A Dare

So I wake-up this morning and for a second I thought another one of my childhood heroes had died, so instead of sharing it right away I researched it to make sure it was true but alas, another death hoax, Mr. Bean LIVES!

You asshats! You walk around saying things like “God? there is no proof!” Oh right as if you actually looked, but someone posts a celebrity death hoax and your dumbass is sharing it and making speeches about the lives this person has impacted and the joy they brought to your life. Where the hell are your proof-searching  keen detective skills? Wait? is it under your bed with your brain collecting dust next to all the other important shit you should probably be using on a daily basis?

Look. Pick that shit up you lazy ass bums, clean that clutter up already and stop making  an ass of yourself. I am guilty of having done this myself but I learned my lesson after like 30 times… OK, it was more like less than 4 but more than 69. 

Anyways, I write my first article in months after having writers block and also losing good ideas because I didn’t have time to write them down and they disappeared into the black hole that is my brain at times I need it the most. So this is the first subject I start my article with, my procrastinating life and other things that prevent me from creating something funny and stupid to read for my nonexistent fans, hahahah.

So someone sees my article and it usually only shows the first few lines and the title, of course. So, they think that I am bitching about my shitty life and yeah, it seems that way to be honest but the article was about another article I read that I agreed with but just thought that it was pointless. Being a metal-head I am apart of a lot of metal groups on Frrce brrk and some of these people are all over it. Yes lyrics are dumbed down, who cares?

So I had a great conversation with an amateur wannabe troll who thought he was gonna troll me, lol it gets pretty funny, by the way, I was hired for my bad mouth, comedic nonsense and just dumb shit I like to ramble about on a regular basis.
People have always dared me to do goofy or stupid things and being that I love to be a goofy bastard I end up taking them on,lol
Be excellent to each other and laugh at life’s clowns as they come crashing through your ceiling because they have been stomping on their floor trying to make you turn that loud shit down they hate so much.

So without further ado, I bring you the dumb shit writers like me deal with, yet I am one who doesn’t really care what they say or what I say either,lol Mr. Kyle Jones was up to no good but he didn’t know that my boss was just daring me to tear into this guy so I did.2016-09-12-22-09-32So his first comment was, “You deserved it.” I guess he thought this article was just me bitching about my chaotic life thinking that I must have bad luck or some shit.

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Of course I have no direction other than just being a dick, which is what he is also doing while thinking that I care about the conversation or what he says. I am starting to laugh and my boss is messaging me big ass ‘lols’ and just egging me on like fucking crazy and I cant help but laugh even harder at what we are both saying because I know as a fellow troll, we are both having a good time trolling. It’s like a fucking sport or some shit at this point.

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Motherfucker just gave a Tropic Thunder speech over here like, “I’m just an idiot, played by an idiot playing another idiot.”

Then the rock throwing thing just makes me laugh so hard I had to end it with some even dumber shit.

You see guys, there is a major problem on the internet, its full of morons who take things at face value without putting any effort to research anything they read. Being misunderstood is one of many ticks attached to my neck slowly sucking blood and brain matter from my skull.

I happen to enjoy my flaws for the most part, being A.D.D., DYSLEXIC, and O.C.D.

You cant really take anything I say seriously because like most actual comedians what I say is usually only meant to be funny, dumb or weird. What happens when someone thinks they are hurting my feelings because they believe they can troll a troll? Well some funny shit occurs my friends. Someone ends up insulting themselves like Mr. Kyle Jones over here who, if you can tell, is really getting pissed, so pissed he starts to misspell shit and make absolutely no fucking sense. I misspell shit because I hit the wrong keys and don’t always proof-read.

I hope you enjoy reading my stupid rantings and odd point of view, thank you, good night and be Excellent to each other!